M g A u R y S s - G v I e R n L u S s ( pt III )

Ok guys, time for the 3rd sequel for this post. =)

Disclaimer: This not only teaches people how to talk to women, but also talk to people in general. So in a way, you can make friends using the exact same method.

So now that you guys know how to approach someone and start a conversation, here I am to tell you what to say and what not to say.
So kids, today's lesson is going to be on Following Up An Opener.

Oh before I start, I forgot to add a few tips that would be vital when opening up girls/people.
i) A girl's defenses tend to be higher if your approach her from the front, so angle yourself to approach her from the side. Psychologically, this should give her some assurance that if she doesn't like you, she can just turn her head back to face the front.
ii) If there is a guy or a few guys in a group of girls, aim to open the guy first, and then let him introduce you to his female friends later on.
iii) If you get shot down by a girl, do not be embarrassed. There's completely nothing to be embarrassed about. After all, she just missed her chance to date you. Not the other way around.

Having said that, once you've managed to successfully gotten the ball rolling with a girl, the first thing you have to do is follow up. If you're a spontaneous person, this is the easiest thing in the world to do. Just let the topic of conversation roll and talk to her as if you're talking to a friend you've known for ages. Which means, don't be shy.

If you AREN'T a spontaneous person, then the usual follow ups will do nicely. Stuff like, "do you come here often?", "do you know ?" (if she's somehow connected to you) and "you look familiar are you from " (that's if you didn't open her with that line already).

Once you've gotten the ball rolling and she looks comfortable enough talking to you, the next step you should take is to build rapport with her. Now, rapport is a hard word to explain without it being misleading. But what you want to do is you want her to feel this connection to you that will make her want to keep talking to you.

Rapport can be attraction, or it can be just plain curiosity of wanting to know more about you.

The best way to build rapport is to talk about things that'll make her want to listen to you (and not want to cut in and tell a different story). So what you should do is tell stories. Pretty much.
If the conversation's topic is on car accidents, you can talk about "that one time you were involved in an accident sandwiching a lorry and a motorcycle, where everyone survived and if it weren't for you, the motorcyclist would have been dead".

If you can add some humor to your stories, that would be great. Humor makes the world go round. It's as simple as that. People love the funny guy (as long as he's not annoying). So when you give a base to that humor, it makes you a very interesting person. My advice is to go and remember (or even write down) some stories that have happened to you or a friend and remember it. the more you tell that story, the better you get at telling it. And the better you get at telling it, the more confident you get at adding a few jokes to it.

That's one way to building rapport when first meeting someone. Asking intruding questions like what their favorite music is or whether they like sports or movies is a big nono on a first conversation, and should only be reserved for first dates. This is because you don't want them to know you're hitting on them when you talk to them for the first time (as much as you are), you want them to think that you're a friendly person who's comfortable enough with striking up a conversation with a stranger. It's a psychological thing. In short, don't move in too fast.

When you've gotten a good conversation out of her, it'll be time to ask for her number. If you've built perfect rapport, then she will give you her number either way you ask her. However, just to be safe you can say something like, "It's been really interesting talking to you today. We should keep in touch" or "Look how time flies when you're having fun. I've really got to get going now. How about we continue some other time? Let me have your number."

One caution you should take is to not ask her for her number because this will give her the option of saying no. Instead, suggest that she give you her number.
This way, if she says no, it'd be because you did the worst job of building rapport with her.

Oh and if she asks for your number in return, it means that you've done pretty well at building rapport with her. However, don't give your number to her. Say, "I'll give you a call soon."
If she insists for your number, say "Why ah? Scared I won't call you?" =p

Once you get her number, say good bye and be on your way. Don't continue your conversation with her because this would be annoying. The phone number should be the last thing you hear from her for that day.

After that, wait one or two days and then give her a call.

And then after that, set up your date.

Now when setting up your date, don't be nervous. But don't stay too long on the phone either. Cut the conversation short to about a minute or less. Say something like, "It was nice meeting you the other day. Let's continue our long extensive story-telling session. Do you prefer mamak or Starbucks?"

Once again, remember that you shouldn't ask her if she wants to go out. You could suggest going out ("hey let's go out") or you could put it in a way that she has to decide ("mamak or starbucks?", "tuesday or thursday" etc.)

In the next post, I'll talk about how to increase your chances of her being attracted to you (really interesting stuff).

Until then, go practice.

P.S. Lets get this straight, I'm not trying to act like a know it all. I posted this for the sole purpose of changing the mindset of the typical guys that hot women are a luxury.
P.P.S. I know that this is all common sense, but there wouldn't be so many people asking for help if they knew how to do it right. (So lets face it, not many guys have the lightest common sense do they? =p )
P.P.P.S. Once again, I'm giving advice from personal experience so if this doesn't work it must be because of something you're doing wrong. Instead of criticizing the advice, go analyze your mistakes and try again. (This is directed to all u guys who IM-ed me and complained about how all these method failed =.=)

Cheers~