I need strength

.. more than anything..

just to get past this day..

=(

A Story on Friendship

A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam. He called his parents from San Francisco.

"Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask. I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me.

"Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."

"There's something you should know," the son continued, "he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mind and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us."

"I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live."

"No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."

"Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to live on his own."

At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however, they received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide.

The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know, their son had only one arm and one leg.

The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don't like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are.

Thankfully, there's someone who won't treat us that way. Someone who loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we are.

Tonight, before you tuck yourself in for the night, say a little prayer that God will give you the strength you need to accept people as they are, and to help us all be more understanding of those who are different from us!!! There's a miracle called Friendship That dwells in the heart You don't know how it happens Or when it gets started But you know the special lift It always brings. And you realize that Friendship Is God's most precious gift!

Finally, good luck on all ur exams !!
=)

Invictus

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul."

Invictus by William Ernest Henley

M g A u R y S s - G v I e R n L u S s ( pt III )

Ok guys, time for the 3rd sequel for this post. =)

Disclaimer: This not only teaches people how to talk to women, but also talk to people in general. So in a way, you can make friends using the exact same method.

So now that you guys know how to approach someone and start a conversation, here I am to tell you what to say and what not to say.
So kids, today's lesson is going to be on Following Up An Opener.

Oh before I start, I forgot to add a few tips that would be vital when opening up girls/people.
i) A girl's defenses tend to be higher if your approach her from the front, so angle yourself to approach her from the side. Psychologically, this should give her some assurance that if she doesn't like you, she can just turn her head back to face the front.
ii) If there is a guy or a few guys in a group of girls, aim to open the guy first, and then let him introduce you to his female friends later on.
iii) If you get shot down by a girl, do not be embarrassed. There's completely nothing to be embarrassed about. After all, she just missed her chance to date you. Not the other way around.

Having said that, once you've managed to successfully gotten the ball rolling with a girl, the first thing you have to do is follow up. If you're a spontaneous person, this is the easiest thing in the world to do. Just let the topic of conversation roll and talk to her as if you're talking to a friend you've known for ages. Which means, don't be shy.

If you AREN'T a spontaneous person, then the usual follow ups will do nicely. Stuff like, "do you come here often?", "do you know ?" (if she's somehow connected to you) and "you look familiar are you from " (that's if you didn't open her with that line already).

Once you've gotten the ball rolling and she looks comfortable enough talking to you, the next step you should take is to build rapport with her. Now, rapport is a hard word to explain without it being misleading. But what you want to do is you want her to feel this connection to you that will make her want to keep talking to you.

Rapport can be attraction, or it can be just plain curiosity of wanting to know more about you.

The best way to build rapport is to talk about things that'll make her want to listen to you (and not want to cut in and tell a different story). So what you should do is tell stories. Pretty much.
If the conversation's topic is on car accidents, you can talk about "that one time you were involved in an accident sandwiching a lorry and a motorcycle, where everyone survived and if it weren't for you, the motorcyclist would have been dead".

If you can add some humor to your stories, that would be great. Humor makes the world go round. It's as simple as that. People love the funny guy (as long as he's not annoying). So when you give a base to that humor, it makes you a very interesting person. My advice is to go and remember (or even write down) some stories that have happened to you or a friend and remember it. the more you tell that story, the better you get at telling it. And the better you get at telling it, the more confident you get at adding a few jokes to it.

That's one way to building rapport when first meeting someone. Asking intruding questions like what their favorite music is or whether they like sports or movies is a big nono on a first conversation, and should only be reserved for first dates. This is because you don't want them to know you're hitting on them when you talk to them for the first time (as much as you are), you want them to think that you're a friendly person who's comfortable enough with striking up a conversation with a stranger. It's a psychological thing. In short, don't move in too fast.

When you've gotten a good conversation out of her, it'll be time to ask for her number. If you've built perfect rapport, then she will give you her number either way you ask her. However, just to be safe you can say something like, "It's been really interesting talking to you today. We should keep in touch" or "Look how time flies when you're having fun. I've really got to get going now. How about we continue some other time? Let me have your number."

One caution you should take is to not ask her for her number because this will give her the option of saying no. Instead, suggest that she give you her number.
This way, if she says no, it'd be because you did the worst job of building rapport with her.

Oh and if she asks for your number in return, it means that you've done pretty well at building rapport with her. However, don't give your number to her. Say, "I'll give you a call soon."
If she insists for your number, say "Why ah? Scared I won't call you?" =p

Once you get her number, say good bye and be on your way. Don't continue your conversation with her because this would be annoying. The phone number should be the last thing you hear from her for that day.

After that, wait one or two days and then give her a call.

And then after that, set up your date.

Now when setting up your date, don't be nervous. But don't stay too long on the phone either. Cut the conversation short to about a minute or less. Say something like, "It was nice meeting you the other day. Let's continue our long extensive story-telling session. Do you prefer mamak or Starbucks?"

Once again, remember that you shouldn't ask her if she wants to go out. You could suggest going out ("hey let's go out") or you could put it in a way that she has to decide ("mamak or starbucks?", "tuesday or thursday" etc.)

In the next post, I'll talk about how to increase your chances of her being attracted to you (really interesting stuff).

Until then, go practice.

P.S. Lets get this straight, I'm not trying to act like a know it all. I posted this for the sole purpose of changing the mindset of the typical guys that hot women are a luxury.
P.P.S. I know that this is all common sense, but there wouldn't be so many people asking for help if they knew how to do it right. (So lets face it, not many guys have the lightest common sense do they? =p )
P.P.P.S. Once again, I'm giving advice from personal experience so if this doesn't work it must be because of something you're doing wrong. Instead of criticizing the advice, go analyze your mistakes and try again. (This is directed to all u guys who IM-ed me and complained about how all these method failed =.=)

Cheers~

Guys > Mars , Girls < Venus (pt II)

Okay so now for u guys out there, today's lesson is going to be on approaching girls/women.

But before I say anything, let me just disprove of what the average joe will be thinking when the word "approaching" comes to mind.
Many people think that they need to be good looking to be able to approach a girl without getting shot down. But I've said it time and time again, the ugliest fat man can get a girlfriend pretty enough to grace the covers of any fashion or men's magazine as long as he has the confidence (and the right words to say)
Also many people (especially the conservative, religious and the scared people) think that approaching total strangers doesn't work for everyone. So if I were to give an example where you and your friends are sitting at Laundry Bar, and on the table not too far from you there are a couple of absolutely hot women. Are you going to just sit there and admire the view? What if I said that it was possible to end up dating one of them?

The thing guys have to realize is that women have the same wants and urges as men (ask any female friends and they'd say the same thing). It's just that women aren't fully attracted to physical appearances the way men are attracted to women, so you won't catch many women staring at guys (except for the occasional pretty boy). Also women know that guys want them so they know they are in total control when talking to a guy, and having said that play hard to get to see how that guy would compare to the other hundreds of guys that have hit on them.

Okay so now that's out of the way, one does not simply walk in to a shopping mall and ask a pretty girl for her number. Nobody does that. Even if someone like Brad Pitt did that, the girl will change her perception on him forever. But i digress. =p

There are certain guidelines a guy has to abide to in order to get a girl's number. And not only that, have her looking forward to his call.
And this applies to ALL guys- however ugly, fat or short you may be.

The first step in approaching is to have an opening line that will not put her on the defensive. And yes, this means never to use a pickup line on a girl. There are a few types of opening lines to be used- the situational opener, the sincere opener and the opinionated opener (there are a few more but I can't quite remember them right now).

Anyway the situational opener uses the situation as a way to open conversation.
e.g. 1 If there was a fight that just broke out and she saw it, "Hey but did you catch what happened? I love these kinda dramas. I've no time for TV so Starbucks is the next best thing for me."
e.g. 2 If some guy tried hitting on her but failed, "Can you believe the cheesiest lines guys come up with nowadays? Even if a girl used that on me, I'd say no too"
e.g. 3 If shes wearing a pretty dress, "Sorry I can't help but notice you're wearing a really nice dress. May i ask where you got it? My best friend's birthday is coming up and I've absolutely no clue what to get her."

This is my personal favorite because if at any time you get shot down, you can just call her unfriendly and walk off. Because let's face it, at no point did you come off as a creep who was trying to hit on her.

Really confident people use the sincere opener, which can be the most nerve wrecking, but is also the easiest ones to use. They can be as simple as a, "Hi, I'm Johnson and I'm going to be really honest, but I think you're pretty cute. Would it be alright if you bought me a drink?"

It can be as easy as that. And yes, she will talk to you if you pull it off with perfect confidence.

One rule though is never use the words hot, sexy, fappable or anything that would imply that you want to sleep with her.
Also, never offer to buy a girl a drink because this will automatically trigger her defensive system.

Once again, if she says no, she'll forgive you for being sincere and confident at the same time. But ONLY if you've pulled this off with perfect confidence. As I said, really confident people use this.

Lastly, the opinionated opener.

This is done by asking a girl a neutral question that doesn't require the mind to think.
"Hi I'm doing a quick survey. Just answer as quick as you can. Orange juice or apple juice?"
"Hey, have I met you before? Sorry, you just seem really familiar. I think I've seen you at a party before."
"Hi. Do you know where the science non-fiction section is? Sorry, you just look like the type that reads that kinda thing"

As you can see, those are all very no brainer captain obvious questions, but they get the girl to let her guard down and they also open the door for a follow up.

I'll stop here for now and let u guys digest these a while.

Next time around, I'll talk about how to follow up to an approach.

Cheers =)

Two Glasses Of Wine

TWO GLASSES OF WINE

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle,
when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and
the 2 glasses of wine theory...

A professor stood before his philosophy class with some
items on his desk in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly,
he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill
it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They
agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into
the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if
the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it
into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked
once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous
'YES.'

The professor then produced two glasses of wine from
under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar,
effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I
want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf
balls are the important things; your family, your children, your health,
your friends, and your favorite passions; things that if everything else
was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your
job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else; the small
stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first', he continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for
life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you
will never have room for the good things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your
happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18 holes. Do one more
run down the ski slope. There will always be time to clean the house and
fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first; the things that
really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and
inquired what the wine represented.

The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked. It
just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of glasses of wine with a friend.'

Have a great day ahead =D

Guys from Mars, Girls from Venus (pt I)

Here's a little productive post, inspired by the conversation with a dear friend currently taking up psychology major. =)
Hope it serves as a guide for all the despo guys out there. =p

I have known this almost all my life, and yet it baffles me that guys who are 20-something, 30-something, 40-something and so on have no knowledge on how the female mind works.

They keep thinking, "I want her, so I must be her friend first."
I partially have women to blame because some of them use the stupidest excuses to reject men like, "I don't know you well enough yet" and "Can't we just be friends?" because this tends to lead men on to believe that becoming a woman's close friend will eventually lead to ripping her clothes off on the bed and making sweet love WITH her consent.

And I always don't want to speak my mind when I read shit like this on forums indirectly hinting that they plan to become friends with a girl first before making a move, OR making a move on a girl who's already their friend.

So here's your wake up call.

Once you are a girl's friend, you are nothing more.

If you have plenty of female friends then good on you, at least you have female friends; I personally find female friends useless (it's like a car without petrol in the middle of the desert)
But that's a story for another day.
My point is, keep your friends. And if you develop feelings for a female friend of yours, you have to choose between two options- either ruin your friendship with her forever and tell her you like her, or forget about it and go date someone else. Somehow, i've personally done extensive research on this, and even tested it out before, don't ask me how though. =.="

So kids, today's topic of interest is about The Friend Zone.



Rest assured there'll be a sequel to this, so just remain seated and tune in frequently. =)

P.S. Exam's next week zzzzz so don't expect an update anytime soon.
Cheers =)

nobody's perfect

A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use
while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the
rest on the operational track.

The train is coming, and you are just beside the track interchange. You can
make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the
kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused
track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?

Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could
make.



Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice
only one child. You might think the same way, I guess. Exactly, to save
most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision
most people would make, morally and emotionally. But, have you ever thought
that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the
right decision to play at a safe place?

Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who
chose to play where the danger was. This kind of dilemma happens around us
everyday. In the office, community, in politics and especially in a
democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of
the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how
farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are. The child who chose not to
play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case
he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.

The great critic Leo Velski Julian who told the story said he would not try
to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing
on the operational track should have known very well that track was still
in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's
sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die
because he never thought the train could come over to that track! Moreover,
that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train
was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on
board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one
child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few
kids.

While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be
made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right
one.

'Remember that what's right isn't always popular... and what's popular
isn't always right.'

Everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils.