What great friends I have.

Friends are just your friends when they need your help.

Other than that, you're just a nuisance to them.

True friendship is waking up in the middle of the night, just to help carry your burden of your insomnia.

True friendship is squeezing out whatever time they have just to accompany you.

True friendship never says no to a plea of help or a plate of offering.

True friendship is something I've not seen for a very very long time.

The Questionable Four

I recently illegally downloaded 4 not-so-recent albums, well most of them were debuted late 2008 or early 2009. And all i can say for these 4 are, downloading time well spent ^^, even though i won't recommend anyone to buy the original anytime soon.

First off, we start with a bang, Fall Out Boy with their well promoted album, Folie à duex, which literally means, "a madness shared by two".


Tracks

Lullabye
Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes
I Don't Care
She's My Winona
America's Suitehearts
Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet
The (Shipped) Gold Standard (Coffee's for Closers)
What a Catch, Donnie
27
Tiffany Blews
w.a.m.s.
20 Dollar Nose Bleed
West Coast Smoker

All in all, this album isn't bad, fresh tracks all round, with a hint from the previous albums. Though still not my preferred genre, they did deliver well, and loud. =)
Tracks that stand out would be 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, I Don't Care & What a Catch, Donnie.

Next up,
"When The World Comes Down" by The All-American Rejects.
This treats me really well, mostly cause its my type of genre and i love The AAR.

Tracks:

I Wanna
Fallin' Apart
Damn Girl
Gives You Hell

Mona Lisa (When The World Comes Down)
Breakin
Another Heart Calls (featuring The Pierces)
Real World
Back to Me
Believe
The Wind Blows
Sunshine

There's some really good tracks here, and really really addictive. =)
My pick would be Another Heart Calls & Gives You Hell. Though the other songs are really really good as well. And of course, this is really an improvement from their previous albums. Recommended for those planning to get the original. =D


Moving on,
These are the not so mainstream bands, and ever so under-promoted. Seriously, they should be part of the Billboard Chart, IMO. Presenting, "The Silver Chord" by The Classic Crime & "New Surrender" by Anberlin.

Tracks:

5805
Abracadavers
Closer Than We Think
Everything
God and Drugs
Gravedigging
Just A Man
Medisin
R&R
Salt In The Snow
Sing
The Ascent
The Beginning (A Simple Seed)
The End
The Way That You Are

Tracks:

The Resistance
Breaking
Blame Me! Blame Me!
Retrace
Feel Good Drag
Disappear
Breathe
Burn Out Brighter (Northern Lights)
Younglife
Haight St.
Soft Skeletons
Miserabile Visu (Ex Malo Bonum)

These two albums aren't bad in nature, but they aren't above average either. Sadly, their predecessors still reign the better ones. Though it's good to see them still in the music business.
Tracks like Gravedigging & Salt in the Snow are catchy. Retrace by Anberlin ain't bad either.



Conclusion? I have none, listen to them yourselves. =)
Trust me, it'll be so worth your time.

If I die before i sleep, pray the lord my soul to keep;

If I die before i wake, pray the lord my soul to take.

Migrains *drools* migrains..

I'm having a splitting headache right now,
might be due to the intense 10 hour car ride i had just now.

Just a short shout-out for people out there about the posts
they can expect later on.

There'll be album evaluations coming up, and finally a first post
about our life in Singapore and NTU.

Hope you all keep tuning in. =D

Karangan: Kemalangan Yang Paling Ngeri

Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai
takat suhu beku. Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah
jadi air batu dan air paip tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam
batang paip. Pagi itu saya bersarapan dengan keluarga di dalam
unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu emak saya
mengajak saya menemaninya ke pasar. Tetapi saya tidak mahu.

Selepas emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali dengan garfu
barulah saya bersetuju untuk mengikutnya. Kami berjalan sejauh
120 kilometer kerana pasar itu letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah.
Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar saya ternampak sebuah lori
kontena meluru dengan laju dari arah belakang.

Dia melanggar emak saya. Emak saya tercampak ke dalam gaung.
Dia menjerit “Adoi!”. Lepas itu emak saya naik semula dan mengejar
lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di belakang emak saya kerana
takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula. Pemandu lori itu nampak
kami mengejarnya. Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama dengan
kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju
iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat
menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar
pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri. Feri itu
terbelah dua.

Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati.
Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman
dan memfire pemandu lori. Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di
dalam lori dia..lori itu bertukar menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka
bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia pun terus
menyewa sebuah helikopter di Genting Highlands dan terus ke
tempat kemalangan. Dia melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar
menjadi Ultraman itu.

Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri
semula lalu terhempas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu
lori sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya.
Dia menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya masih marah.
Dia menyendengkan helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu
dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit “Adoi..!” dan jatuh ke
bumi. Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia
balik ke tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg
tangannya sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris.

Pemandu lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang
putih. Lalu pemandu lori itu mati. Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun
sampai. Dia membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri
itu. Semua anggota polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang
ramai mengerumuni tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang
telah terjadi. Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia
menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan
semuanya mati.

Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai
lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada
penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang
mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati. Saya dan emak saya terus
berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami
pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum
saya mati.

FIN

*credits to a 10 year old kid with extensive imaginations.

Death And All Its Glory

"Death would be a privilege for you." Someone said that straight to my face a few years back, but strangely i couldn't recall who. I'm tired both physically and spiritually, and I don't think my body can take any more of this abuse. I feel my soul slowly sipping away and i fear I'm turning into someone I'm not. If someone put a curse on me, then all i can say is job well done. "Today, there is no God for me" The quote from a man who saw before his eyes, the brutal execution of everyone he loves, and was in line himself too. The only thing that stands between me and hell is a really thin line of perseverance, which is stretching ever so fast day by day.
Day after day, I'd give myself reasons for pushing on, how ever ridiculous they may be. Now I'm running out of them, just imagine having to give yourself an excuse to live. The things I've seen and done, sometimes beyond human nature. Maybe its the reason I'm having these peculiar and unprecedented dreams. Maybe this is the way karma says hi. Whatever it may be, i don't want it. I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of losing everyone i love. I'm tired of being hated by everyone. I can almost see the awe expression of the coroner when they perform my autopsy. Wondering how could someone survive while being totally screwed up inside.
My head feels like an atomic clock, endlessly ticking even when there's no real need for it, endlessly processing stuff that doesn't even make sense to some. Someone please teach me how to give up. God, i really sound like an emo n drugs. Hey, maybe I am an emo on drugs.
I include along with this post, the most intimate and personal secrets of my life. Things that have been kept secret all my life for 19 years are now open for the public's personal entertainment. First of all, just for clarification purposes, I'm not from a freaking rich family. Both my parents are just government school teachers, so their wages are just enough for us to lead a slightly above par life. But this isn't the point, my family isn't filthy rich, but i certainly am. Correction, me and my brother. You see, a few years back, while i was in form 3 i think, my bro decided to try out something interesting, playing with stocks and shares. I don't know what the hell its all about at that time but i trusted him. So i flushed out a portion of my bank account earned from part time jobs and ang pau money to my bro. He invested and after awhile, my bank account became 3 times larger. Hobby became obsession, and soon after we were investing profusely within several potential and large companies, behind our family's back of course. Long story short, right now we own a shared bank account with more than 400,000 USD inside, and no one knows about it except both of us. So yea, i'm supporting myself when studying here. Worse part is, my mum assumes I'm on scholarship or something.
For those who haven't found out by now, my dad passed away while i was really young. Since then, i blame myself every single day for letting it happen. My dad passed on the 15th of November, and my birthday is on the 14th of November, go figure. I really can't bear to go into details for this, its too overwhelming for me, but all in all, he died trying to protect me. I had to bear with this burden and guilt for more than 10 years now. Within those years, i secluded myself, kept my emotions behind a wall of apathy. And I only truly trusted two persons at that time, my brother and my then-gf. Over time, i learned to invite others over that wall, my social circle widened and i finally started to live again.
After a series of unprecedented events, i broke up with my gf. But this is another story for another time. The impact of that break up brought me here to this state now, then add on the rejection of the girl i really liked, I'm still surprised that I haven't broken down emotionally. I mean, what kind of person would hate someone who genuinely likes them. She literally ordered me not to like her, or else she'll be really pissed off. If she doesn't want people to like her, why even bother advertising herself to everyone here. She said she's afraid I'll distort her "market value", i really don't get this, she made it sound like this is a brothel or something. So now I'm avoiding her the best i can manage, but still helping her behind her back, cause i really can't get over her.
Being alone is the worst feeling in the world, being alone with guilt is just pure inhumane. But nevertheless this is a burden i have to carry myself, and myself only. I really need someone to talk to, someone to trust, but no one really takes me seriously now. And my friends don't deserve to trouble themselves with my afflictions. So I guess I'm fated to be alone all my life, I must have pissed off "someone" in the life before.

Hell

"The angels are screaming, their shrieks fill the sky." Whispers and whispers coming from nowhere, and everywhere. Picture red skies, almost burning, a torn city, skyscrapers now nothing but lumps of debris, with few standing frames, still smoldering brightly. Imagine everyone you know, everyone you met and will ever meet, dying literally all around you. "A death worse than death". The most appropriate way of condensing this feeling. Then to top it up, picture having to relive this everytime you close your eyes and head to slumberland.
Weird & sickening as it may seem, i had to go through this every single night for the past two weeks. Right now, insomnia is my best friend. 2 weeks with less than 10 hours of sleep, and you'll be ready for anything charging towards you. Trying to figure out the literal or metaphoric implication of this "hopefully-NOT-a-premonition" is yet another road block for me. Maybe i did something really wrong, maybe i ate something really wrong, or some higher being is just too bored and decided to toy with my sanity.
These dreams are more like a really annoying paragraph, left hanging in mid air right after you regain consciousness . And trying to piece everything together is like trying to remember your first grade school mate's cousin's brother's birthday. Took awhile but finally got at least 50% of the story patched up, and i'm posting it here for everyone to dwell and enjoy. There were different versions of course, but all came to a similar ending. Everyone died. Now that i see this, it really feels like a sick and dark horror film with a really low budget. Everyone died, and i'm left all alone with lots of space to spare. The only things accompanying me are whispers which make no sense whatsoever. If this is hell then someone has to try harder, cause i'm still alive and kicking.
Then, i realized lying on bed in the dark whole night staring at the ceiling was a total waste of time. Hence, i sat on the chair in the dark whole night staring at the wall. Wall-staring is a really strenuous exercise. Even more tiring than ceiling-staring. Somniphobia is the fear of sleep. I'm having somniphobia right now, and i also learned a new word. If i look so very alive n cheer-y in lectures, its all thanks to a bottle of pills my friend in the service provided me, labeled "P-15" aka adrenaline pills. Taking one gives a 80 year old a performance of a 20 year old in bed for an hour. Or it could give you one whole day's of push and zing for studying in a really stressful university.
In a totally unrelated event, two weeks ago i had this crush for one of my uni-mate. After getting the consent of my ex, i'm all on to wooing her, but now i realized she hates me. The things i did for her, all from the bottom of my sincere heart, flushed away in an instant. Now, i feel more like a personal butler, with no pay. I'd give up my most valued possessions for her, I'd give her all my time in the world, I'd give up my life for her. Pretty extensive crush huh? Too bad no chances are given, hence no results were obtained. I'll still treat her like a queen mind you, keeping a promise made to myself.
This has nothing to do with the nightmares, at least i think so. These two happening at the same time is simple coincidence. She still hates me though. This is not me emo-ing, this is me thinking out loud. Oh god i really like her. I'm so damn tired now. As in really really exhausted. I might pass out any second now. *thump*